Women’s Potential Explorer

Throwback to my last few weeks in Australia prior moving in :

The last couple of weeks while still in Australia were challenging. They were filled with a lot of incertainty, emotional imbalance, therefore being easily irritated. 

Had my flights booked about three weeks in advance for the 23rd of September. At a time where I could witness Rebekah undergoing through the process of burning out : challenges coming with a new VERY busy role, agitated altercations at home with drunk teenager, unsettled younger child and lack of sleep on top of that. Me ? On the other side of the phone, across the Tasman Sea, what could I do ? One and only solution came to mind, to drop everything and run home to her. I think that when I first suggested it to her it amplified the unsettlement and raised abruptly some worries that were still unconscious at that time. After a couple of days giving her time to think about it, suppressing the precipitated character on the matter she mentioned feeling relieved by my proposal of coming sooner. 

We came up with the plan that I could come around mid September, before the school holidays would start, which she was preoccupied about. Only bone here was that my manager needed me to cover some weekend work while he was away for family purposes. J. (my manager) has been so good to me since we first worked together in a previous workplace that I couldn’t refuse or let him down on the matter, i knew how important this family time was for him. 

Rebekah stood from a place of compassion and understanding on the situation, we agreed that I would then fly in on the 23rd of September. 

That leaves us with two weeks remaining apart from each other. Those felt the most unsettling for me. I was seeing Rebekah slowly recovering from the edging burn out but in the meantime keeping herself overly busy. 

From my point of view it felt like she intended to maintain a highly busy life for fear of connecting and embracing the soon to be living together. Looking at her daily life I wondered how and where I could fit in there.. She had everything organized, moving on track and I was gonna land in there shaking the balance she achieved ON HER OWN since I left in June. 

(maybe Groundless stuff here as a bit more personal : 

Thought to myself “i am gonna be a ghost there, transparent, unexisting”. This sense of loneliness came to grasp me and i remember thinking that we would get a dog so it would be a companion and i wouldnt feel so lonely. My mind was running full speed, going round and round crawling down the rabbit hole at every opportunity. 

It gave me an opportunity to become aware of another aspect of my conditioning, putting my finger on heavy triggers. The heaviest one being the hard time I’ve had in my life to set boundaries for myself and to get others to respect these boundaries. Having experienced it since m early stages of life and reckoning the mirror effect in Rebekah on some aspect of daily scenes contributed to this anxiety of being transparent. 

On this idea my mind started to recognize patterns and would make me feel hurt, I became defensive leading to being irritated. I would realize that this was a defense mechanism from the mind to prevent the mind made idea that she would hurt me.

Would it feel right to go deeper and mention concerns regarding the kids and especially Ruby ?)

I guess there was a struggling to communicate. It was hard to find time on both ends where we’d both be available. Communication became hard to instore, aggravating the distant feeling from each other. I remember being heavily triggered as I felt having to put my life on “hold” to compromise to be able to talk while being present with each other. This at that time was a nonescaping loop. The heavy trigger there was that it happened before in past relationships to have a perception that whateverI was doing was less important or less of a priority that the other person. Every time I was facing the same pattern occurring in a relationship, my different partners would come up with the same sort of justification and  excuses. That what they were doing was more important or more of a priority and they could compromise on it. So this is what the situation brought up for me, the topic would become a source of conflict. 

To add on top of everything the fact that we didn’t see each other for about two months. Missing Rebekah was a daily struggle, especially knowing that we would soon be together, it was like time could move fast enough.. 

During a conversation she said something innocently that would brighten up everything and bring me back to myself, to my Masculine. 

It was a couple of days before leaving Australia, we were talking about something that I don’t recall and she mentioned “Something in you is out of alignment”. This simple quote was in fact the whole answer to my unsettlement. I was living ahead of my time, worrying about “ifs” and tomorrow when I couldn’t be Here and Now. Yes, I completely forgot about Today, about living in the present moment. I did prioritize my head to think over my heart of feel. 

It changed the whole perception about the situation and it was divine timing, because then  it was time to feel my way to New Zealand.

 A new lifestyle, finding my marks in the house, within the family. 

In 2023 I found myself immersed in a profound journey of self-discovery and intrinsic growth. Nurturing my spiritual and developmental facets became a focal point, with daily practices such as meditation, yoga, and exercise guiding me inward. Remarkably, I embraced a year entirely free from alcohol, fostering a newfound clarity!

A pivotal chapter unfolded as I stepped onto the bodybuilding stage, competing in two categories; chronicling my journey through daily reflections, of which I intend to share at some stage. The discipline and dedication required unveiled resilience within me.

Yet, amidst the physical metamorphosis, an equally significant milestone awaited – I got married! Topping off my transformative year!!

In my professional life, I have come to have a thorough understanding of hospital and specialist services, and how we can and do navigate the delicate balance between ingenuity and constraints.

I have explored new practices and social circles broadened my perspectives, offering a tapestry of experiences that enriched my journey.

Reflections on my role as a mother surfaced, leading to a poignant realisation – my children, steadfast as rocks, are the anchors of my life. In acknowledging this, I prioritised family time, recognising its irreplaceable value.

A profound lesson echoed throughout the year: there is no perfect equilibrium, only a conscious choice of what holds the utmost importance. My mantra evolved – prioritizing self-love through exercise, meditation, and reflection, dedicating quality time to my family, fostering a spirit of continual learning, and embracing courage.

As I step into 2024, these guiding principles become the compass for my journey ahead, weaving a narrative of growth, resilience, and unwavering commitment to what truly matters.

1. Embrace Daily Practices: Cultivate transformative habits such as meditation, yoga, and exercise to foster spiritual and personal development.

2. Continue to document the Journey: Chronicling experiences, like a bodybuilding competition, through daily reflections can provide a valuable roadmap for personal growth.

3. Prioritise Family: Recognise the invaluable role of motherhood and family as anchors in life, dedicating quality time to nurture those connections.

4. Embrace Change and Exploration: Step beyond the comfort zone, explore new practices, and engage with diverse social circles to broaden perspectives.

5. Choose Priorities Consciously: Acknowledge that life lacks perfect balance. Instead, consciously decide what is most important, focusing on self-love, family, continual learning, and courage as guiding principles.

Yes…. And so it is

Reflecting on the shift in government in New Zealand, the evident desire for change among its people was not surprising, given the lead-up to the election’s preliminary results. As we navigate this transition, it’s crucial to ensure that the networks, connections, and collaborations cultivated in recent years continue to flourish.

I realise this post is bringing some very big discussion points all into one. It’s just where my mind is at today.

Regardless of the changes in the New Zealand government, sustaining these relationships hinges on a collective effort to work hard and treat people with kindness. Without active engagement and appreciation for those involved, systems, projects, and programs may falter.

Shifting focus to Australia, it was disheartening to learn that the Voice vote, a commendable initiative to integrate indigenous perspectives into the government, was rejected. Despite this setback, I encourage perseverance—kia kaha—and the continuous pursuit of amplifying that crucial voice, which undeniably deserves to be heard.

Meanwhile, recent conflicts between Hamas and Israel have unleashed devastating consequences on civilians from both sides. The recurring cycle of violence underscores the urgent need for humanity to learn from these experiences. Women and children often bear the brunt of such conflicts, with minimal input into decision-making processes.

In the face of these challenges, a call for unity among women worldwide becomes imperative. Creating networks and opportunities, supporting one another, and recognising individual worth are vital steps toward empowerment.

And go the Allblacks!!! It does mean that the Irish do not move past the Quarterfinal’s for the 2023 Rugby World Cup, and they played well, massive effort by all. I reflect on how sports can unite us.

In this increasingly complex landscape, the emphasis on working diligently and treating others with kindness becomes even more crucial. It is through these principles that we can foster positive change and build a more inclusive and compassionate world.

Despite significant progress in recent years, gender bias and stereotypes continue to influence how society perceives women’s roles. These biases can affect opportunities, promotions, and the expectations placed on women.

Many women still bear a disproportionate responsibility for caregiving and household chores, which can create an imbalance between work and personal life. Conversely, those that don’t take on these tasks are judged as well.

Inadequate parental leave policies and lack of childcare options for working parents can make it challenging for families to balance their careers and family responsibilities. Women are far more likely to step back from their careers to shoulder this gap.

This perpetuates the life-long gender pay gap experienced by women generally. The gender pay gap persists, with women, on average, earning less than men for the same work. This disparity can also be attributed to multiple factors, including negotiation biases and occupational segregation.

Here are some practical tips to help women navigate some of these challenges:

1. Find a Champion: There may be individuals within organisations who actively advocate for gender equality, pushing for policies that support women’s advancement in the workplace, and challenging societal norms. Seek out these people out, and form communities and alliances. And then become advocates. This is a new age, and it’s time to work differently.

2. Find a mentor: In a similar fashion, find a mentor. Having role models and support systems is crucial for career growth.

3. Find a sponsor: Find someone who you admire, who is at a higher level an the organisation to you, to become your sponsor. You want someone who is willing to drop your name when an opportunity arises.

4. Create awareness: Being aware of gender equality issues is essential. This includes educating people about unconscious biases and the importance of diversity and inclusion. Create a curious discussion when people make assumptions or generalisations.

5. Educate yourself: Go to free online seminars, learn about finance, business, family support systems, whatever you want! There are so many free resources out there.

6. Inform Policy: Question outdated policies and guidelines. Policies can play a significant role in addressing gender disparities. Advocacy for policies such as Parental leave guidelines; Flexible working; Education and development guidelines; Child-friendly travel policies: revising travel policies to accommodate employees who need to bring their children can make a significant difference. Many women face challenges when traveling for work due to a lack of childcare options. Allowing for family-friendly travel arrangements can help them participate more fully in their careers.

7. Technology and Remote Work: Advancements in technology and the rise of remote work have the potential to create more flexible work arrangements that benefit women in managing their responsibilities.

8. Cultural Shift: Achieving gender equality requires a cultural shift in how society values and supports women’s contributions, both in the workplace and at home.

It’s essential to continue discussions and actions that promote gender equality and challenge archaic norms. Progress may be gradual, but with continued awareness, advocacy, and policy changes, we can work toward a fairer and more equitable future for all, regardless of gender.

I decided to celebrate the May Full Moon by attending a Yoga in Daily Life session, thinking it was a regular yoga class. To my pleasant surprise, it turned out to be a yogic meditation centered around chanting Aum 108 times

Chanting Aum, also known as Om, is a significant aspect of ancient yogic and meditative traditions. It holds deep spiritual meaning and is considered a sacred syllable or mantra that symbolizes the essence of the universe and the supreme reality.

The number 108 is considered highly symbolic in many spiritual traditions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. It carries profound spiritual connotations and is believed to represent the entirety of existence. There are several explanations for its significance.

Firstly, 108 is a product of 1, 2, and 3, representing the divine trinity of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva—the creator, preserver, and destroyer respectively. In astronomy and astrology, interesting cosmic relationships are associated with this number. For instance, the distance between the Earth and the Sun is roughly 108 times the Sun’s diameter. Similarly, the Moon’s diameter is believed to be about 108 times its distance from Earth. These celestial connections have led to the association of 108 with the cosmic bodies and their influence on our consciousness.

In yogic philosophy, it is believed that there are 108 energy channels, or nadis, converging to form the heart chakra. Chanting Aum 108 times is believed to cleanse and balance these energy centers, enabling a deeper state of meditation and fostering spiritual growth.

Chanting Aum is a form of mantra meditation that helps calm the mind, focus our awareness, and establish a connection with the universal consciousness.

It’s worth noting that different yogic traditions may have variations in their practices and interpretations. The Yoga in Daily Life session I attended emphasised chanting Aum 108 times as a means of meditation and energetic alignment during the Full Moon.

After the 108th Aum, we chanted Aum Shanti which means Universal Peace. Derived from Sanskrit, “shanti” translates to “peace” in English. Chanting “Aum Shanti” at the conclusion of a meditation or spiritual practice is a way to invoke and cultivate a state of inner and outer peace.

The syllable “Aum” represents the universal sound and encompasses the essence of all existence. By combining it with “shanti,” the intention is to bring about a state of tranquility, harmony, and inner calm. It is a gentle reminder to seek and embody peace in our thoughts, actions, and interactions with the world.

The Winter Solstice arrived, marking a pivotal moment in the year and the overall cycle of nature. Determined to embrace this special occasion, I made the decision to celebrate it in a way that spoke to my soul.

I signed up for an Ecstatic Dance celebration, not really knowing what to expect, but thinking that it would provide the perfect environment to open myself up and share in the energy of like minded people.

As we entered the dance space, we were warmly greeted. We brought meaningful items to contribute to the altar. I placed my little meditation wooden carving on the altar. It was a precious token I had acquired during my soul clearing trip to Australia, at a little co-op in the Yarra Valley. With this act, I intended to infuse my growth journey with renewed energy, to release any remnants of what no longer serves me, and to ensure that I nurture and manage my own energy with care.

The experience started with a meditation, and then gentle movement, and then more movement, until the music seemed to reverberate through my being. The facilitator, a guide for this transformative journey, was speaking of sowing seeds and manifesting our intentions for the coming months. People were dancing individually yet collectively, each person moving to their own life beat. It was a time to reflect, let go of inhibitions, and to connect with the essence of who I am.

In the midst of the dance, I found moments of stillness—a sacred pause where reflection and intention took root. I delved deep, acknowledging the lessons and experiences of the past year, and envisioning the light I wished to invite into the coming months. I allowed myself to dream, to set intentions that harmonised with the natural rhythm of the world around me. It’s amazing how the movement of body is so intertwined with the calming of the mind.

My friend Tracy, danced by my side. We shared smiles and exchanged glances, understanding the significance of this shared experience. Together, we embraced the magic of the Winter Solstice.

As the celebration drew to a close, I felt a sense of gratitude, calm, and renewal. This opportunity had gifted me with an opportunity for introspection, healing, and growth. I left the dance floor with a renewed sense of purpose, energy, and of manifestation. It was a joyful experience. We finished the evening with a delicious vegan feast!

Two and half weeks ago, I wandered through thee small rural town of Healesville in Victoria, I had no idea that I was about to experience a serendipitous encounter. I had been shopping a local co-op, collecting little local souvenirs to take home. I stopped into a local pub for some dinner and was surprised to find my friend from New Zealand and her partner and boys sitting in the outside area. It was a delightful surprise, and we had a wonderful catch up. It was amazing how, in such a small town, we were able to run into each other so unexpectedly. She inspired me to consider completing another body building competition this year.

My trip to Melbourne was equally full of serendipitous moments. I had an incredible day catching up with an old school friend, exploring the city and discovering hidden gems that I would never have found on my own. We even saw a fabulous ballerina performing Swan Lake on one of the busy main roads! As the day came to an end, my friend was about to leave, and I was getting ready to head to the airport, but I found out that my flight was going to be delayed by four hours. It was an unexpected twist of fate, and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

I had been thinking about getting a tattoo while in Melbourne, and with the delay in my flight, I decided to explore some options. As fate would have it, I stumbled upon a tattoo shop in South Melbourne that caught my eye. I knew I wanted to be tattooed by a woman, and as luck would have it, I was introduced to #schlgrl aka Imogen a talented female tattoo artist. We collaborated to create a design that symbolized my journey and values: a lotus flower with the silhouette of a woman meditating and the sunrise in the background, representing emergence, peace, clarity, and new beginnings. It was serendipitous that I found Imogen and that she was able to create such a meaningful tattoo for me.

Looking back, my trip through Victoria was full of serendipitous moments that led me to connect with old friends, explore new places, and discover opportunities that I never would have found otherwise. It was a reminder that sometimes the unexpected twists in life can lead us down the most rewarding paths.

The bus tour started in Melbourne city. I had already had a workout, a cup of tea, and a coffee beforehand and so had a full bladder. I quickly realised that I was not going to make it all the way to the first stop in Anglesea, and I had to go up to the front of the bus to ask our kindly guide to make a special stop. The guide announced that there would be an unplanned stop to allow for a bathroom break. Half the bus also got off to go! I was pleased to not be the only one.

The tour continued along the winding coastal road, the tour guide provided interesting commentary about the history and geography of the region. It was carved out by war veterans after WWI. The scenery was stunning, with towering cliffs and crashing waves providing a dramatic backdrop to the journey. The towns of Anglesea, and Lorne and many others are places I could definitely spend some time at.

Along the way I was thrilled to see a koala high up in a eucalyptus tree, and a small black snake slithered across the road in front of me at one of the stops.

When we reached Apollo Bay, the tour guide recommended trying the scallop and mornay pie, a local specialty. It was absolutely delicious and worth every calorie. As I ate, I sat on the beach and reflected on how lovely it would be to live in a little seaside town.

The highlight of the tour was undoubtedly the Loch and Gorge, with the nearby 12 Apostles being mighty impressive also. The view was breathtaking and the tour guide provided interesting information about the geology of the area.

On the way back to we drove through the rainforest, I was struck by the ethereal beauty of the scenery. The trees towered above us, their leaves filtering sunlight and casting a dappled shade on the road.

At our last late afternoon stop, we were accompanied by raucous cockatoos, their bright white feathers and loud calls adding to the already lively atmosphere. Watching them fly from tree to tree was a joy.

As we neared the end of the tour, I decided to take some time to reflect on my experiences and consider ways in which I could work to support women in the workplace. The peaceful surroundings provided the perfect environment for introspection, and I was grateful for the opportunity to pause and reflect.

As I arrived at the picturesque village of Millgrove, in the Yarra Valley near Melbourne, I was immediately struck by the serene and peaceful environment that surrounded me. Winding up the gravel road towards my Air BnB accommodation, I was greeted by two unique and intriguing features on either side of the road. On my left was a giant mediating Buddha statue, its serene and peaceful expression seemed to set the tone for my stay in this beautiful place. On my right, a lovely friendly pet deer grazed peacefully in the fields.

As I arrived at the accommodation, I was pleasantly surprised by the attention to detail that had been paid to every aspect of the cottage. The decor was charming and cozy, and there was a full range of herbal tea leaves in labeled jars. It was clear that the host, Dean, had put a lot of effort into creating a warm and inviting space for his guests. His friendly and approachable nature only added to the charm of the place.

During my stay, I had the pleasure of meeting Neesha, the wonderful woman who lives there too, is a yoga instructor/physiotherapist. Intrigued by the possibility of a yoga session in such a serene environment, I asked about the possibility of a session with her. To my delight, she was happy to oblige. #yoga_with_neesha

The yoga session with Neesha was a truly wonderful experience. We practiced on the outdoor patio, surrounded by the beauty of the Yarra Valley. We went through an energizing flow, focusing on the connection between breath and movement. Her expertise as a physiotherapist was evident as she provided gentle adjustments to help us deepen our poses and prevent injury.

As the session came to a close, Neesha led us through a sound bath. The gentle sounds of the singing bowls washed over us, creating a sense of peace and relaxation. It was the perfect way to end the session and left me feeling rejuvenated and energized.

My beautiful healing experience with San was initiated by a cacao ceremony and then the massage began. While the massage itself was therapeutic and felt absolutely wonderful, what I found truly magic was the energy that San picked up on and created during the session.

San has a gift for picking up on things that may require some work or healing while massaging, and messages come to her that she shares with the recipient. I felt like she is able to sense things about people they are not fully aware of, she was able to intuitively guide the massage and energy healing process in a way that felt deeply connected and healing.

The cacao ceremony before the massage helps to open the heart and connect to intuition, which I believe made it easier for me to receive any messages or guidance that San was picking up on during the massage. During the massage, San used a variety of techniques to address any physical tension or pain in my body. She has the uncanny knack of intuitively picking up on emotional or energetic blockages, she uses her intuition to guide the massage and energy healing process.

During my healing experience with San, I noticed that feelings of worry for my kids came up, which made me feel sad. San then shared with me that she saw a patchwork quilt and a Trojan horse. While the meaning of the Trojan horse was unclear, she felt that the patchwork quilt may represent the idea of piecing things together and holding them together.

San also shared with me that she felt my root chakra was strong and grounded. The root chakra is one of the seven main chakras in the body, and it is associated with feelings of stability, security, and grounding. When the root chakra is strong and balanced, it can help us feel more rooted, centered, and connected to the earth.

San also felt that I needed a good cry during the healing experience. Interestingly, even at this point in my solo journey, I have not yet had that experience of letting go and releasing through tears.

San’s insight was a powerful reminder of the importance of allowing ourselves to feel and process our emotions fully, even if that means experiencing sadness or pain. Through this release, we can create space for healing and transformation, and ultimately move towards a greater sense of inner peace and well-being.

Her insights and guidance made it feel like this was vital information for me to address as was understanding the emotions and feelings that were coming up for me during the session. Her ability to intuitively sense things about me and to share messages and guidance was a powerful aspect of the overall healing experience.